Jon Tyson, lead pastor of Church of the City in New York and popular author, joins us to talk about how to be intentional with our boys. Jon discovered that other cultures all around the world had similar rituals around raising boys in their tribes and villages. He then took those ideas and implemented them with his own son, cultivating intentionality and significance.
We cover some ground in this episode talking about toxic masculinity, male passivity, intentionality, pornography, sowing and reaping, character, and relationships. There is much wisdom here – don’t miss it! And be sure to pass this along to anyone who wants to help raise young men of courage and character.
Follow Jon Tyson on Instagram
Jon Tyson’s Podcast – Church of the City NYC – Podcast
The Intentional Father: a practical guide to raising sons of character and courage by Jon Tyson
The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter
Many societies had this formula of six conscious steps for raising sons:
1. Separation of the environment of childhood (put in environment with older. men to be formed)
2. Death of childhood psychology
3. Process for formation – the story of their community, religion of their community, the skills needed to function in a healthy way
4. Sent out on “the ordeal” – masculine moment where they test and see. Focused on courage and skill aquisition.
5. Welcomed back by the community of men.
6. Integration back into society
Great Quotes from the interview:
We don’t sow and reap in the same season.
Ask: What is a question that gives me access to their hearts?
Consistency vs. intensity is the key to parenting
The goal is to convert childhood authority to adult friendship
With older kids, keep asking about the 3 big questions of life:
character is destiny – who are you becoming with the freedom that you have?
vocation – what are you thinking about your future?
relationships – how are viewing sex and dating
Keep conversations running around these three topics:
What are you learning about God?
What are you learning about yourself?
What are you learning about life?
Humanize the struggle, but don’t minimize the impact.