Grief is something we don't choose. It arrives and we have to decide how we are going to deal with it. In midlife we can be faced with new types of grief. We want to live with it and move through it with health. The question is how?
Our guest, Mattie Jackson understands deep grief. The loss of her husband in an accident less than one year after they were married took her to her deepest pain. She talks us through her own healing and how her friends supported her. The wisdom she shares is valuable for anyone who wants to stand with those they love.
If you are experiencing grief, know someone who is, or want to be prepared when the unexpected happens, this conversation is for you. Truly, you don't want to miss Mattie's insights. You will be better for it.
Mattie Jackson - Website and Instagram
Mattie Jackson's Book- Through the Valley of Grief
"When grief opens a door it yells out to all the past griefs to come and get through that door with it" Dr Curt Thompson
Happiness co-exists with unhappiness.
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The mother-daughter relationship can be one of the richest and most rewarding bonds we get to experience here on earth. It can also be one of the most complicated, especially in the teen and young adult years.
Today we are thrilled to have Sandra Stanley and Allie Stanley Cooney, authors of Meet Me in the Middle, discussing the importance of foundations in the mother-daughter relationship. They emphasize the need to root our identity in faith and how it affects every aspect of life.
We also discuss the significance of pursuing and valuing the relationship a mother has with her daughter, even during times of tension and conflict, and what it looks like to become students of our daughters. We also cover forgiveness, and the importance of allowing time for healing, not dictating when forgiveness should occur.
This episode is unique because we get to hear from a mother's AND a daughter's perspective. If you are looking to improve your relationship with your daughter, this episode is for you!
Sandra Stanley's- Website and Instagram
Allie Stanley's - Instagram
Sandra & Allie's book- Meet Me in the Middle
3 Superpowers
-Forgiveness
-Gentleness
-Appreciation
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The final episode in our ELECTION READY series, today Krista Gilbert is interviewing Alexandra Kuykendall about how we love our neighbor in the midst of an election season.
Seeking out goodness when life is great is easy, but when we have political disagreements or challenges that come our way, this is when it becomes really hard. In today's episode, Alex explores how to maintain a positive outlook, the role of prayer, and the significance of self-awareness and emotional regulation.
She also emphasizes the need for intentionality in finding goodness in others and the importance of loving neighbors, regardless of political differences.
We can feel so helpless when it comes to election season. This is one thing we can control: focusing on God's goodness and drawing close to others as a result. Listen in and be encouraged!
Episode 299 Original Episode on Seeking Out Goodness
Fruits of the spirit
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Continuing our “Election Ready” series, we are talking today about the importance of bridge building and having conversations around faith and politics - especially during an election year. If this idea seems impossible to you, it’s even more important to listen in on our discussion.
Joining us is Lindsey Medenwaldt. Lindsey is the Director of Operations at Mama Bear Apologetics, holds a masters in apologetics from Denver Seminary, a JD from St. Mary’s School of Law, and another master’s degree in public administration. Her varied background gives her a unique lens for political conversations.
In this episode we talk about why it’s important for Christians to articulate their beliefs and engage in conversations with gentleness and respect. We also highlight the importance of keeping the gospel as the anchor, and focusing on Christ amidst political disagreements.
Lindsey shares insights on bridge building, including the importance of truth and genuine friendship. But we don’t just talk about these ideas, we also offer practical tips for navigating challenging political conversations.
In the heat of this election season, you’ll be so glad you turned in!
Lindsey Medenwaldt- Website and Instagram
Lindsey Medenwaldt- Bridge-Building Apologetics: How to Get Along Even When We Disagree
-1 Peter 3:15
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Have you noticed? There is an election coming up.
For this reason we are going to be talking about how to get through the election season with intention and grace the next few weeks. We are kicking off this little mini series with the best of the best: Kaitlyn Scheiss. She has her MDiv from Dallas Theological Seminary, is now getting her doctorate from Duke Divinity School and has written two books on how to engage with political life as a Christian.
This is not a conversation about who to vote for. This is a conversation about how to approach the election: the questions we can ask to be informed, the questions we can ask that shape the posture of our hearts, and the questions we can ask of each other to learn from one another.
Likely you are ready for this election season to be over. Here is a little motivation to stay in the conversations (especially the local ones!) and consider how to love your neighbors and honor God with your vote.
Kaitlyn Scheiss- Website and Instagram
Kaitlyn Books- The Ballot and the Bible & The Liturgy of Politics
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If you’ve ever been on the other side of divorce, or if someone close to you is navigating divorce, you know the ‘life quake’ that follows. In today’s episode, we are diving into enabling behaviors, financial fears, loneliness, and the ripple effect divorce has on relationships.
Joining us for this conversation is writer and speaker, Tracie Miles, who founded the Living Unbroken Divorce Recovery Program. Tracie shares her personal journey through divorce and how she overcame shame, shifted her mindset, and embraced support from family and friends.
If divorce has become a part of your story, this episode is for you.
Tracie's- Website and Instagram
Tracie's Book- God’s Got You
Living Unbroken– Tracie’s other book
Tracie's Mantras that helped her navigate her situation
-You've got this.
-The end of your marriage is not the end of you.
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Jesus is the bread of life. But what about the bread at our table? Is there any connection?
Kendall Vanderslice, baker and theologian, sees a direct connection between the making and consuming of bread with the good news that God is present and working. A conversation like no other - Kendall walks us through the value of eating together, the bread making process, and how we can love our neighbors through simple acts like offering some homemade bread.
You may be surprised how much this conversation brings you to some deeper spiritual longings and reminds you that the tangible of today can be a great metaphor for the intangible hope of heaven.
Kendall's -Website and Instagram
Kendall's Book- Bake & Pray
Alex's book- Loving My Actual Neighbor
Types of bread mentioned:
Moravian sugar cake
Stollen Bread
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We all hit life seasons or situations that strip us of an identity or reality we once had, and we find ourselves asking, “Who am I if ________________?” Fill in the blank.
Who am I if I don’t look the way I used to?
Who am I if my kids are leaving home?
Who am I if I have limitations?
Who am I if my relationship failed?
In this episode we talk about these questions and much more. Leading with scripture, we turn to God to discover what He has to say about each of the “What if” statements. We also get real about change, transition, and struggle.
If you’ve ever said, “It’s not supposed to be this way,” this episode is for you!
-The AndyStanley Leadership Podcast
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Sometimes a story comes to us that we know will offer our podcast listeners an important perspective on the world - that will help us all rise - to meet life's challenges. Ben's story of mental health struggles and sexual abuse is one of those. We invited him on to share so we as parents of young adults can gain insights, empathy, and better understand what it is to live through these specific challenges as a young person today.
Ben Locke graduated early from high school to start his college soccer career, but was quickly injured and unable to play. He found himself at the mercy of a school trainer who sexually abused him while he was in a vulnerable position desperate to get back on the field. Ben's story highlights how power differentials can fog decision making and influence behaviors in ways we wouldn't choose. Ben's opportunity to transfer schools was his eventual ticket out.
But from there the disbelief, anger, and eventually grief were challenging. Ben's ability to articulate his experience, including his feelings at every step of the process, is helpful for those of us who want to care for victims, prevent abuse, and understand depression. This is an episode worth listening to as you care for young people around you.
Ben Locke's -Website and Instagram
Ben Locke's Book- In Our Suffering, Lord Be Near: Prayers of Hope for the Hurting
-On Fire- Book
-Helplessness produces rage
-Anger is Sad's bodyguard
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Do you have a college student who could use a care package from home right about now? In this Back to School series we are talking about practical ways to support our teens and young adults, and care packages are a fantastic way to do that.
Krisi Monsiviaz is joining us to talk about why college care packages matter, what to put in them, and what the favorite item is every time (according to her kids). Krista Gilbert shares her approach to putting together these boxes of love from home and some of her favorite go-to items.
Staying connected to our college students while they are away from home matters. This episode will inspire you to get something in the mail!
Krisi Monsiviaz- Website and Instagram
-Krista's College Care Package Group Blog Post with pictures and ideas
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We are in a back to school series for moms in midlife. Gone are the days of crayons and kid-sized scissors, and on are the days of cheering for our high schoolers and their friends with creativity and intentionality. There is no better mom to lead us in this conversation than Krisi Monsiviaz. Her creative flare combined with her organized execution gives her ideas that can be scaled up to serve an entire team, plus families, and friends.
Perhaps you are planning to be Team Mom and carry an official role in organized support. Or maybe you have a few free hours in your schedule and want to use them with purpose to support your high school student and his teammates or cast mates. Maybe your daughter wants to host a dinner at your house or make gift bags for her squad. The principles laid out in this conversation can be applied and tweaked to meet the needs of the kids right around you.
We know the high school years are busy. Let's not let the busy of practices, homework, and jobs get in the way of intentional gathering, gifts, and grub. Teenagers like all three of those.
Krisi Monsiviaz- Website and Instagram
-Team spirit bags
-Team Breakfast
-Post game pizza with the team
-Create Lyniads
-Bring speakers to talk to the teams
-Parents pray for the team young adults
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High school senior year is a special time for teens and for their parents. For many moms, the beginning of senior year means the beginning of the lasts. There is some grief there. How do we balance the end of one phase of a young person's life with the celebration of this transition? Both Krista and Alex just finished a senior year and they invited their friend Courtney DeFeo to talk about her experience facing her first senior year as a mom.
This episode touches on topics like college deadlines, getting a job, and navigating parties and substances. From prom to graduation, there are so many special markers of transitioning out of the childhood school years and into adulthood. We cover how each one of us tries to be open with ongoing communication with our children, setting boundaries, and being realistic about the challenges they may face. They also highlight the need to tailor experiences and celebrations to each child's preferences and personality.
Courtney DeFeo is the host of the Pardon the Mess podcast and lives in the Dallas area with her husband Ron and their two high school-aged daughters. We know you'll appreciate her honesty and sense of humor as she approaches what can be a scary time for a mom.
Courtney Defeo's - Website and Instagram
Podcast: Pardon the Mess
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Do you have a milestone birthday coming up? Or does your child? Milestone birthdays are an opportunity to celebrate and mark significant moments and we want to make the most of them.
Sometimes these special occasions spark joy and excitement, other times they signal grief or loss. In this episode we talk about learning to embrace both ends of the spectrum. We also discuss why it's important to pause and make space for celebrating well in the midst of busy and full lives.
But you know us, we also go practical. Grab a pen because we offer many ideas you can implement with yourself, your family, or your friends for their special day. From text bombs to concerts to lottery tickets to cooking classes, we will get your creative juices flowing as you come up with your best idea for the celebration.
This is part of what a full life is made of... join us!
Turning 13: A meaningful way to celebrate your child
16 surprises for a sweet sixteen
Psalms 139
1. What milestone birthday is coming up that you can celebrate well?
2. Are there any grief points that you anticipate as a part of this milestone birthday?
3. What is the opportunity in this milestone birthday?
4. How would you or the birthday person most like to be celebrated?
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Do you find yourself wishing you had deeper friendships? Or maybe you long for those deeper ties with your own children.
In this episode we're talking specifically about relationships in this middle season of life. Our guest, Billie Jauss, podcast host, writer, and wife of a Major League Baseball coach, guides us through four different kinds of relationships. She uses this framework to help us adjust our expectations of those in our circles.
We talk about painful experiences, human connection, Uber drivers, teens and young adult children, and how to use positive virtues for growth.
If you want to relationship better, this will help.
Website: Billie Jauss
Instagram: billie_jauss
Podcast: Family Room
Billie's Book: Baseball Family
John 13:34-35- Love command
Four Levels of Relationship
The 9 core qualities
-Mindful Christianity- Instagram account
-Read the Bible
-Marriage course- Alpha course based of UK
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Alex and Krista bring the Fun & Fire format back for a little summer inspiration. Though summer feels like it is starting to wind down. What?! Already?! They are not ignoring those things they still want to happen. From the whimsical to the practical, hear what summer items are still on their to-do lists!
And what's getting them fired up? Prices these days! Are you feeling the pinch of the pocketbook? We feel your pain and we give you some of the ways we're making our dollars stretch right now. From travel savings to back to school shopping, we put some of our tried and true savings ideas to work.
What is left on your summer list? And how are YOU making your dollar stretch these days?
Matthew 6:28-29
Code for ThredUp thrifting: 45% off plus free shipping on your first order: Referral link
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If you've ever wondered, 'Help! What is my young adult going to do with the rest of their life?' then you're in the right place. Or maybe you ARE the young adult asking, "How do I figure out what to choose for a career when I can't even decide what to have for breakfast!?"
Rest easy, today we are diving into the exciting and sometimes overwhelming journey of helping you or your young adult discover their future path.
Our guest is Tyler Lafferty, author and co-founder of Seven2, 14Four and Strategy Labs, as well as an educational non-profit called Slingshot. For more than twenty five years he has been following his passion of helping students dream big and discover new opportunities.
The episode explores the journey of career discovery and mentorship, emphasizing the importance of dreaming big, introspection, and taking risks. It addresses the challenges faced by young adults and parents in navigating career paths and provides practical guidance for self-discovery and pursuing passion and purpose.
If you are wondering where to go on this career path journey, either as a young adult or the parent of a young adult...this will help you take the first step. You will want to share this episode with the young people in your life!
Tyler's website: Slingshot
Tyler's book: Be More Like You Book
-Build a network of people to help you in your career path.
-IDEAS Framework is an acronym;
I- Introspection- Better understanding who you are as a human.
D- Design- Design a plan of the job type, the people, and company that you need to learn more about.
E- Exploration- Go & Do( Having the information interviews, Job shadows, & internships)
A- Adaptability- Understanding if you are on the right path, can be done through journaling your experience.
S- Service- Value of finding your connection to the community Be in the Service of Others(BISTO)
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If you've ever wondered, 'Help! What is my young adult going to do with the rest of their life?' then you're in the right place. Or maybe you ARE the young adult asking, "How do I figure out what to choose for a career when I can't even decide what to have for breakfast!?"
Rest easy, today we are diving into the exciting and sometimes overwhelming journey of helping you or your young adult discover their future path.
Our guest is Tyler Lafferty, author and co-founder of Seven2, 14Four and Strategy Labs, as well as an educational non-profit called Slingshot. For more than twenty five years he has been following his passion of helping students dream big and discover new opportunities.
The episode explores the journey of career discovery and mentorship, emphasizing the importance of dreaming big, introspection, and taking risks. It addresses the challenges faced by young adults and parents in navigating career paths and provides practical guidance for self-discovery and pursuing passion and purpose.
If you are wondering where to go on this career path journey, either as a young adult or the parent of a young adult...this will help you take the first step. You will want to share this episode with the young people in your life!
Tyler's website: Slingshot
Tyler's book: Be More Like You Book
Build a network of people to help you in your career path.
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What does the Gospel, the big message of who God is in the world, have to do with the here and now? Everything.
Midlife is a time of transition, often unexpected change, and trusting that God is with us every turn and upheaval is a gift that stabilizes us in a season that can feel anything but stable.
Courtney Doctor is the perfect person to be with us in this conversation. Through her work as the Director of Women's Initiatives at The Gospel Coalition, Courtney speaks with women of all life stages about how God's big story right sizes our current stress. When we remember who God IS and what he PROMISES, we can feel a little more sure that we will get through the day. No amount of midlife stress will change God's nature or plan for the world.
This is an episode about God meeting us where we are right now at this very moment. We hope it meets you in your deepest need - he can and he does.
Courtney's Website and Instagram
Courtneys book- From Garden to Glory
Other books mentioned:
Prayers in the night by Tish Harrison Warren
Growing Together by Melissa Kruger
One to One Bible Reading by David Helm
Even Better than Eden by Nancy Guthrie
Scriptures mentioned:
Exodus 34
Matthew 26
Psalms 23
John 17
Genesis 3
Why does abandonment cut so deep? Our guest, Dieula Previlon, reminds us that we are hardwired for relationships and when that need is threatened, we feel pain. Abandonment can be the threat or the actual experience of being left, excluded, rejected, unseen, or uncared for. We can carry this wound from childhood or we can be experiencing it now in midlife. Whether through a divorce, a friendship loss, or even a child growing up and leaving, abandonment can leave wounds that need tending.
Dieula reminds us to stay present for each other. Our emotional availability is the counter to abandonment. She also covers how we can work through our feelings of abandonment from God. As both a trained therapist and ordained pastor - Dieula offers us a wholistic roadmap for healing.
Dieula's Book- Does God see me?
-Genesis 2:18
-Sweet magnolia- On Netflix
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Summer is already fun, but here's a few ideas to add to your list! The more intentional we can be about planning ahead, the more likely it will be that room will be made for those moments that make summer special.
In this episode we talk about outdoor summer concerts, pool time, picnic chicken, fresh flowers, charcuterie boards, frozen treats, some favorite makeup finds, and more.
Join us and let's get in the mood for S-U-M-M-A-H!
1. What can you schedule or put on your calendar now to make summer more fun?
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Rick and Diane Thomas, also known as Krista's parents, have so much wisdom we couldn't limit our conversation with them to one episode, so we are bringing you part two. You don't want to miss what these two wise people have to say about creating a legacy - something that will last past their time here on earth.
They are an inspiration around living with intention as they share how they maintain fun in their daily experiences, continue to model open communication within their family, and how to embrace the season you are still in!! In this episode we cover how to welcome others into a growing family, how we can support our aging parents, and what faithful participation in a church community can look like.
These two are a treasure. In fact, Alex decided we should dub them "America's grandparents"! They are kind, funny, generous, and continue to live a life of curiosity, adventure, and investment in people. They are a model for us to rise and meet the moments of today, even if those moments are different than those of yesterday.
"Legacy is not something we leave for people, but it is something we leave in people".
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Creating a legacy in this world is something that is hard to measure, but easy to identify. Legacy is not something we leave for people, it’s something we leave IN people. The impact is profound, and the ripple effect lives far beyond us.
Legacy is something we all want to leave, but how do we do it?
Today on the podcast we are diving into this very topic with two of the most qualified people on the subject: Rick and Diane Thomas – otherwise known as Krista’s parents. They live out legacy better than anyone else we personally know, and we wanted to share their hard-won wisdom with you.
We talk about the importance of intentional legacies, the impact of strong family values, and the significance of building relationships across generations. Rick and Diane share their experiences of creating a close-knit family, fostering a sense of community, and continuing to grow and explore new adventures in their own lives.
They emphasize the importance of faith, generosity, and being present in the lives of the people closest to them. You will walk away from this episode inspired to create a legacy that lasts in your own life
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Conflict...it's something we all come up against and many of us shy away from it as soon as there is any hint of it. We forget that disagreement itself is not bad; as people we are not always going to agree on everything. Then we throw in some misplaced expectations and some big emotions and conflict can suddenly move from a natural part of a relationship to something destructive. We can quickly move into unhealthy patterns and hurtful words, actions, or tones...and this is why we shy away.
But our guest Donna Jones, reassures us that conflict doesn't have to be awful. In fact healthy conflict is actually possible! Through listening with intent to understand, deciding what is ours to carry and taking responsibility for that, and recognizing how our personality responds to potential conflict, we can approach conflict with confidence rather than fear. We can talk about the problem at hand rather than each other. We can work toward common ground while believing the best in each other.
Conflict is unavoidable. Let's not make it terrible. Let's decide to face disagreement, knowing we can be respectful and kind with intention.
Website: Donna Jones
Instagram: donnaajones
Donna Jones Book: Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life
James 1:19
-Do you tend to push into conflict? Or pull away from it? How has your personality impacted how you view conflict?
-Who can you listen to this week with the intent of better understanding this person?
-Are there things you are carrying that you shouldn't be?
-How can you take responsibility for what is yours to own in a conflict? And allow others to carry what is theirs?
Do you have a high school graduate this year? Or does someone you know? In this episode Alex is interviewing Krista, asking questions such as:
-How do you celebrate a high school senior well?
-How do you help them practically prepare for college?
-How do you say goodbye when it’s time for them to leave (nooooooo… I’m not ready!)?
-And what do you do about this grief over the loss?
In this conversation, you will find practical advice and helpful questions to ask. Krista emphasizes the importance of communication, setting expectations, and planning ahead. She also discusses ways to make graduation and the moment of departure feel special and recognized.
No matter where you find yourself – fully party planned or not even started, happy or sad, prepared or completely unprepared, this episode is for you!
HOW WE SAY GOODBYE BEFORE OUR CHILDREN GO TO COLLEGE
Before College weekend questions
What if instead of fighting our family, we fought FOR our family? This is the charge Chris and Julie Bennett are putting in front of us. That sounds like something we want to do, but how do we practically implement it?
The Bennetts give us practical ways to implement grace, forgiveness, and hope into our relationships with our children, our spouse, and those we bring into our family fold. Family is about belonging - so our aim is to create a place of honesty, safety, and grace. Chris and Julie speak from a lifetime of fighting for their family together.
If you are needing both some inspiration and practical help today, this conversation is for you. The world hands us a lot to deal with, especially in midlife. We don't have to fight with those we love, as much as we have to fight for a family culture that demonstrates wild love.
Chris & Julie's - website
Chris Bennett's - Instagram
Julie Bennett's - Instagram
Chris and Julie's book- Fighting For Family
The chosen - Tv show
1 peter 1:23- Imperishable seed
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