Host of the popular mothering podcast, Don't Mom Alone, Heather MacFadyen is right in the middle of parenting four boys. As we continue in our series on Raise Boys, Change the World we of course needed a few mom experts to join. Heather is one of those moms.
In this episode, we talk about noise levels, energy levels, and schooling choices. We cover how Heather approaches her relationships with educators, other moms, and her husband and how this web of support makes her a better mom as she faces life with four sons. We cover what it means to be "deregulated", how we can help our boys and ourselves get back to a place of healthy functioning when energies or feelings are high. And we cover the importance of boys witnessing a marriage where mom and dad choose each other.
Heather gives us her take on the state of boys right now (spoiler: she says they're "numbing out") and how we as the adults around them can help them build resilience in order to prepare them for lives of service as they leave home. If you are in the middle of raising kids, boys or girls, you will glean encouragement and wisdom from Heather's perspective.
Jon Tyson, lead pastor of Church of the City in New York and popular author, joins us to talk about how to be intentional with our boys. Jon discovered that other cultures all around the world had similar rituals around raising boys in their tribes and villages. He then took those ideas and implemented them with his own son, cultivating intentionality and significance.
We cover some ground in this episode talking about toxic masculinity, male passivity, intentionality, pornography, sowing and reaping, character, and relationships. There is much wisdom here – don’t miss it! And be sure to pass this along to anyone who wants to help raise young men of courage and character.
SHOW NOTES:
Follow Jon Tyson on Instagram
Jon Tyson’s Podcast – Church of the City NYC – Podcast
The Intentional Father: a practical guide to raising sons of character and courage by Jon Tyson
The Data Are Clear: The Boys Are Not Alright – The Washington Post
The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter
Many societies had this formula of six conscious steps for raising sons:
1. Separation of the environment of childhood (put in environment with older. men to be formed)
2. Death of childhood psychology
3. Process for formation – the story of their community, religion of their community, the skills needed to function in a healthy way
4. Sent out on “the ordeal” – masculine moment where they test and see. Focused on courage and skill aquisition.
5. Welcomed back by the community of men.
6. Integration back into society
Great Quotes from the interview:
We don’t sow and reap in the same season.
Ask: What is a question that gives me access to their hearts?
Consistency vs. intensity is the key to parenting
The goal is to convert childhood authority to adult friendship
With older kids, keep asking about the 3 big questions of life:
character is destiny – who are you becoming with the freedom that you have?
vocation – what are you thinking about your future?
relationships – how are viewing sex and dating
Keep conversations running around these three topics:
What are you learning about God?
What are you learning about yourself?
What are you learning about life?
Humanize the struggle, but don’t minimize the impact.
Lent, the forty days leading up to Easter, begins tomorrow, Ash Wednesday. In this episode of The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast we talk about the tradition of practicing Lent, how it fits into the Church's liturgical year, and how it reflects the natural world's rhythm of moving from winter to spring and the spiritual rhythm of waiting for the Resurrection.
Lent may feel unfamiliar to you or it may hold undertones of legalism. You may just know it as the time of year you give up something you like because you "should", a challenge of sorts. This conversation helps us frame the intention behind Lent. The practice includes three pillars: fasting from something, adding something, and giving during Lent. When these three things are done in tandem we get the rich experience of practicing Lent in a way that builds anticipation toward Easter.
Tsh covers how to use practices with our kids, how her new book, Bitter & Sweet can be a guide, and how to be realistic as we introduce new practices into our rhythms. It's not too late to decide to make Lent different this year. You can add some intention to your days so that you are turning toward God as you consider Holy Week and all we remember and celebrate.
Whether you have been married twenty five years or three months, this episode will help offer a Godly perspective and encourage you to lean in to sex the way God intended.
If you are looking for wisdom in this area, you will find it here.
Heaven in Your Home Podcast with Francie WInslow
Finding the Hero in Your Husband by Juli Slattery
Rethinking Sexuality by Juli Slattery and Gary Thomas
The Married Guy’s Guide To Great Sex by Cliff and Joyce Penner
In this first half of our conversation we talk about why marriage matters, the power a wife holds in a marriage, and whose responsibility it is to change when things aren't going well. This isn't a conversation that pretends everything is easy or all of our marriages are conflict-free, it IS a conversation however that reminds us that marriage is about a bigger story and putting the effort in to work toward health is worth the work.
If you are struggling to remember when things were good, if you are needing a reminder about the purpose of marriage, if you simply don't know where to start in choosing hope, this conversation could be for you. Juli and Francie are a trusted pair. They have your best interest in mind and remind us all that God is for us and for marriage.
It’s that time again. This is our annual “Things We Love” episode for Valentine’s Day where we highlight our favorite things of the past year.
From beauty products, to books we are reading, to new food products we love, to home must haves, this episode gives you some fun ideas for yourself or for those you love. Of course we love people the most, but these are simply some great ideas to make life work better.
Enjoy listening in on this light hearted conversation.
Things You Heard On The Show
+This post contains affiliate links. All opinions are our own – these are products we use in our everyday real lives and love to use. Enjoy!
BEAUTY / FASHION PRODUCTS
Hot Tools Curling Iron 1 ½ in. barrel
Mac Powderkiss long stay lipstick – date maker color
Kevin Murphy Anti Gravity Oil free volumizer for hair
Tanologist face and body drops
Clinique Even Better Glow Foundation
FOOD
Shamrock Farms Rockin Protein Builder Shake
Cucumber Mint sparkling water by Good & Gather from Target
Lagunita’s Hoppy Refresher, sparkling hop water
It’s that time again. This is our annual “Things We Love” episode for Valentine’s Day where we highlight our favorite things of the past year.
From beauty products, to books we are reading, to new food products we love, to home must haves, this episode gives you some fun ideas for yourself or for those you love. Of course we love people the most, but these are simply some great ideas to make life work better.
Enjoy listening in on this light hearted conversation.
Things You Heard On The Show
+This post contains affiliate links. All opinions are our own – these are products we use in our everyday real lives and love to use. Enjoy!
BEAUTY / FASHION PRODUCTS
Hot Tools Curling Iron 1 ½ in. barrel
Mac Powderkiss long stay lipstick – date maker color
Kevin Murphy Anti Gravity Oil free volumizer for hair
Tanologist face and body drops
Clinique Even Better Glow Foundation
FOOD
Shamrock Farms Rockin Protein Builder Shake
Cucumber Mint sparkling water by Good & Gather from Target
Lagunita’s Hoppy Refresher, sparkling hop water
HOME PRODUCTS
Faster to Way to Fat Loss with Abby Miller (home workouts)
BOOKS WE LOVE
Strengthening The Soul Of Your Leadership
Every Moment Holy – Grief, Death, and Hope
100 Prayers Every Christian Should Know
Bitter and Sweet – A book for Lent
INSTAGRAM FAVES
Good news movement for genuine fun
Monica Swanson for mom and surfing inspo.
SmartHerNews on headlines of the day
MOVIES / TV / PODCASTS
Up First Sunday Rachel Martin interviews Dr. Francis Collins on Bridging the Divide Between Science and Faith Bridging the Divide: A Scientist’s Search for Truth and Faith
CODA (Child of Deaf Adults) Apple TV (Last year said Ted Lasso, Morning Show, season 2 not as good)
This conversation with Gem Fadling closes up our Healthy Way series for 2022. Why talk about change and health? Because we can resist change and cause all kinds of extra stressors. Or we can accept it and move forward in the Spirit.
Gem is an author, and coach, that helps women move through change. We talk about internal change and external change, the difference between them, and how they often go hand in hand. How does suffering enter into change? What about midlife? In other words, we cover it all.
Push play. Listen in. And hear what Gem has to say about moving forward. It has to do with three key letters: OAW. Spoiler alert, these refer to Open, Aware, Willing. We look forward to hearing how you are taking that next step, doing that hard thing, in new areas this year. Hint: we're talking about change.
Since COVID stormed the globe, mental health has been a main topic of conversation. But the reality is that this conversation has been building for many years due to increased digital use, social media, fractured families and communities, and our understanding of the definition of mental health. 1 in 5 adults experience mental health problems each year and depression, anxiety, and behavioral disorders are among the leading causes of illness and disability among adolescents. On top of that, suicide is the fourth leading cause of death among 15-19 year olds.
This is a topic we need to discuss openly and often. Joining us today is the founder of Wonderfully Made, Allie Marie Smith. Allie has walked her own difficult journey with mental illness and is now using her story and that experience to help teens and young women.
There is hope, and you will hear that all throughout this interview. God has not left us, but is with us in our trials, our struggles, and our realities. Join us in this important conversation.
Since COVID stormed the globe, mental health has been a main topic of conversation. But the reality is that this conversation has been building for many years due to increased digital use, social media, fractured families and communities, and our understanding of the definition of mental health.
1 in 5 adults experience mental health problems each year and depression, anxiety, and behavioral disorders are among the leading causes of illness and disability among adolescents. On top of that, suicide is the fourth leading cause of death among 15-19 year olds.
This is a topic we need to discuss openly and often. Joining us today is the founder of Wonderfully Made, Allie Marie Smith. Allie has walked her own difficult journey with mental illness and is now using her story and that experience to help teens and young women.
There is hope, and you will hear that all throughout this interview. God has not left us, but is with us in our trials, our struggles, and our realities. Join us in this important conversation.
Learn more about Allie and her ministry on her website.
Links:
Wonderfully Made by Allie Marie Smith
Wonderfully Made – resources
It’s OK Not To Be OK – book by Sheila Walsh
On Anxiety and Depression - our podcast episode with Kay Warren
Since COVID stormed the globe, mental health has been a main topic of conversation. But the reality is that this conversation has been building for many years due to increased digital use, social media, fractured families and communities, and our understanding of the definition of mental health.
1 in 5 adults experience mental health problems each year and depression, anxiety, and behavioral disorders are among the leading causes of illness and disability among adolescents. On top of that, suicide is the fourth leading cause of death among 15-19 year olds.
This is a topic we need to discuss openly and often. Joining us today is the founder of Wonderfully Made, Allie Marie Smith. Allie has walked her own difficult journey with mental illness and is now using her story and that experience to help teens and young women.
There is hope, and you will hear that all throughout this interview. God has not left us, but is with us in our trials, our struggles, and our realities. Join us in this important conversation.
Learn more about Allie and her ministry on her website.
SOME THINGS YOU HEARD ON THE SHOW
Wonderfully Made by Allie Marie Smith
Wonderfully Made – resources
It’s OK Not To Be OK – book by Sheila Walsh
On Anxiety and Depression - our podcast episode with Kay Warren
Kay Warren’s website – resources for mental wellness / for churches approaching mental health
What if this new year we resolved to have better limits? What if more quiet is what we really need? How about if we build a "spacious life" so that we can experience more of God in 2022?
As part of our Healthy Way series, we talk about our spiritual lives and how we must create space for that part of ourselves to commune with the Holy Spirit. Ashly Hales talks the practical of what that looks like. As a fellow mom of four, she joins Alex and Krista in the chaos lots of kids (and their activities) can bring. And yet Ashley has committed to some limits so that their family rhythms bring peace more often than frenzy.
Do you feel like 2022 is calling for more energy than you have to give? Are you wanting to know how to best set limits while still pursuing things you love? Do you want to trust there is enough if you aren't always producing, but are sometimes simply delighting in the good gifts God has given you? If so, this conversation is for you.
Female friendships can be… complicated. Today in the Healthy Way Series we are looking at how to be healthier in our friendships in 2022. If you’ve ever struggled in friendship, or if you need some encouragement on how to cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships, this is for you!
This is one of our favorite topics as a Sisterhood. We are big fans of authentic female relationships that build up rather than tear down. We are also fans of Andi Andrew, author, speaker, and pastor. Andi shares her wisdom and experience in a way that helps us see our part in creating healthy sisterhood.
If you are ready to strengthen and nurture your friendships this year, dive in to this episode!
Female friendships can be… complicated. Today in the Healthy Way Series we are looking at how to be healthier in our friendships in 2022. If you’ve ever struggled in friendship, or if you need some encouragement on how to cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships, this is for you!
This is one of our favorite topics as a Sisterhood. We are big fans of authentic female relationships that build up rather than tear down. We are also fans of Andi Andrew, author, speaker, and pastor. Andi shares her wisdom and experience in a way that helps us see our part in creating healthy sisterhood.
If you are ready to strengthen and nurture your friendships this year, dive in to this episode!
You can find out more about Andi on her website or about their church on their website as well.
SOME THINGS YOU HEARD ON THE SHOW
Friendship: It’s Complicated by Andi Andrew
Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend
FASTer Way to Fat Loss with Abby Miller
Resolved: The 5 Most Important Decisions You’ll Make This Year a 10 day group coaching experience with Krista Gilbert
As we head into 2022 we want to be intentional about how we use our time and talents. We invited productivity expert Tanya Dalton to kick off the Healthy Way series and the year. Because we don't want to be frantic women running from task to task, responding to the crisis of the minute, but women working out of our priorities with a plan on where we're going and how we'll get there.
Tanya shares the Five Ps with us: Purge, Process, Prioritize, Protect, and Propel. These Five Ps set up a weekly and daily framework for deciding what needs to get done and when. It is simple and effective as we consider where we should focus our energies and attention. Tanya also talks to us about "stacking habits", an approach to intentionally build healthy habits into our routines so they become automatic parts of our days.
We know productivity and habits can both be unhealthy. Certain mindsets can push us toward the hamster wheel life. That's why we want to focus on them in our Healthy Way series. We want to use our time in a "healthy way".
If you are wanting to add some structure to your time, if you would like to be productive, but not frazzled, if you would like to know HOW to decide what you should work on, this episode on healthy productivity and habits is for you.
Wrapping up this year's Christmas is Coming Series, Krista and Alex talk about what God is teaching them, what they are letting go of, the power of "Oh Well," and their ritual for reflection as they contemplate the past year and look forward to the one ahead.
Christmas is a time of joy, but it also highlights the pain some are experiencing. Krista and Alex offer a helpful prayer and perspective as people navigate both.
Listen in as you are driving around shopping for last minute gifts, whipping up something special in the kitchen, or taking a much needed walk. Let's finish out 2021 together!
Tama Fortner is a mom to college aged kids. She can look back with clarity on the ways she managed (and mismanaged) the Christmas years throughout her mothering career. This episode is full of Tama, Krista, and Alex’s insights on helping moms manage Christmas, keeping the special without keeping the crazy.
Tama shares some easy recipes, how she divides and conquers on food responsibilities, and how she creates gifts themed around what someone loves. We talk through how to manage a child’s gift request that parents aren’t willing or able to fulfill and how to approach the child about the why behind the decision.
Whether you are wanting to simplify food or gifts, you are wanting to ensure you keep the holiday season meaningful, or you simply want some fresh encouragement as you step into a busy few weeks, this episode will break down how a few moms consider food and gift choices this time of year. Tama’s new devotional book is titled Simply Christmas, and it’s about keeping the simple in Christmas.
In this last episode of our Legacy Series, Alex and Krista share about how we can harness traditions and rituals to help build family legacy.
The holiday season is the perfect time to be having this conversation, as Thanksgiving and Christmas provide opportunities to pause, reflect, and order our lives.
Legacy is what is left behind after we are gone. Each one of us leaves a mark, either intentionally or unintentionally. Our actions, repeated over and over again, create an invisible thread between us and others.
Today Daniel and Kendra Tillman, co-founders of Living Well Today Marriage Ministry, join us to talk about the impact marriage has on legacy, how a blended family can make a positive impact, and how kindness and humility change a family.
The Tillmans also encourage parents to take their role seriously, while simultaneously offering their children freedom to have their own relationship and journey with God.
Legacy is a big concept. Join Open Door Sisterhood podcast hosts Alex and Krista as they talk about what legacy means to them. When applied to a family system a healthy legacy can pass down values and seeds of faith that will impact generations to come. That sounds nice doesn't it, but HOW do we live so that we know we are leaving the kind of legacy we are wanting?
First we must know what our goals are. How do we want to be remembered by those we leave? What do we want to remain once we're gone? When we get those questions answered, we will know where we're headed. Then we can make decisions on opportunities offered us based on those priorities. We can implement habits into daily life that ensure we are making micro decisions toward the kind of life we want to live and the legacy we want to leave.
If you are wanting to live with intentionality, if you are considering what your larger family story has been, if you want to be intentional about how you shape your family story from here, push play. And then leave a comment here about what legacy means to you. How have you seen it play out (healthy or unhealthy)? And how would you like to leave the world better than you found it?
There are two words that encapsulate this episode: humility & faithfulness. These are themes that many talk about, but are difficult to practice and live out. So when a person encounters someone who embodies these traits, it is a rare and precious gift.
Pastor, author, and speaker Eric Peterson is the son of the late Eugene Peterson, who wrote The Message translation of the Bible. Eric describes what it was like growing up as the son of a spiritual giant, what he learned from his father’s example of humility and faithfulness. A fourth generation pastor, Eric shares how his own ministry was impacted by not only Eugene, but also by his grandfathers.
Krista was moved to tears several times in this interview, as it speaks to the profound power of a life well lived, and the impact that leaves on those following behind.
This episode reminds us that legacy is not left in things, but in people and relationships.
Rachel-Ruth was born into a family known for its Christian faith. Her mother is Anne Graham Lotz and her grandfather is the evangelist Billy Graham. Rachel-Ruth, now a mom to three teenage daughters of her own, talks about how the seeds of a faith legacy are planted and then watered.
Authentic is a word that comes up quite a bit in this interview. Rachel-Ruth says living an authentic life in front of our kids will let them know Jesus is relevant to everyday situations. Admitting when we mess up, asking for forgiveness from our kids and from Jesus, and moving forward are all key. For moms who want to make a spiritual change in their life, so they can authentically model a life of faith to their children, Rachel-Ruth simply says, "Start today." Pick up your Bible, read a few verses, and tell your kids what you are learning.
From someone who is known by her family's legacy of faith, Rachel-Ruth reminds us that we all can plant the seeds. We all have the ability to choose a life that follows Christ and if we are moms, our kids are watching. Tune in to hear Rachel-Ruth's three questions to ask when reading the Bible. It will transform how you read Scripture and how to encourage your kids to do the same.
If there was ever a time we needed kindness, it’s now. And as we approach the holidays, the discipline of practicing kindness is especially important.
Joining us for the last episode of our Seeking Out Goodness Series, Becky Keife, author of The Simple Difference, and community manager for (in)courage, reminds us that simple actions make a significant difference, and that we don’t have to agree with people to listen well and treat them with dignity and respect.
Becky helps us define what kindness looks like, and offers practical examples of how we can move into the holidays reflecting the kindness Jesus models.
As we seek goodness in the world, turning to our own actions is a great place to start.
Sign up for THE CHRISTMAS REMAKE!
Visit the show notes here
It seems fitting on that on the day Alex's new book, Seeking Out Goodness, hits bookshelves, we would invite a number of sisters to share with us about how they are seeking out and finding good in the world. We asked the attendees of the 2021 Open Door Sisterhood Mastermind Retreat to share with us how they are seeing God at work and how they are seeing evidence of his goodness.
From family to creation to provision of a bathroom for a family of six, these diverse answers remind us that we all see echoes of God's goodness through different lenses. For many it's how we interact with others, for some it's about God's direct gifts of his presence and his word, and for others, it is new friends and kindred spirits that bond quickly.
This is a sisterhood roundup. We want to hear how you are looking for and finding God's goodness in the world. Tell us here, and more importantly, put on new eyes so you can see God's goodness. Whether this is a reminder of what you've known for a long time, or good news you are hearing for the first time: God is with us, he has not left us, and he is good.
D.J. Jordan has worked for CNN, Fox News, U.S. representatives, and a U.S. Senator. Today he is Senior Vice President with Pinkston PR firm in Washington D.C. He is seasoned at looking for the good in places and people and he helps us remember as Christians we can look for the good in every sphere of public service. Despite what the media tells us, Christians are working together for good across typical divides. There is good to be found.
From the reputation of D.C. politics to the changing cultural tides, D.J. explains how faithful Christians can not only look for and find the good, we can help make good happen. In this episode, we talk civil discourse, bipartisanship, and being a trusted neighbor. We discuss ministries that are engaging culture with common values and action and how there are consequences for good that we may not know this side of heaven. We cover how the loud minority often gets the megaphone and the faithful servants are in the background doing their work. Yes, there is good to be found, we just need to do a little investigating to find it.
If you are looking for a rich conversation around how we as Christians can have both private and public engagement with our non-Christian neighbors in a way that is meaningful and hope-filled, this episode is for you. It will encourage you. There is good to be found and we can be world changers for good right where we are to do our part to change the cultural tide.
Seeking out goodness is a discipline on ordinary days, but it is even more important in hard seasons of life. Joining us in the Seeking Out Goodness series is Lisa Whittle, author of The Hard Good.
Lisa knows the pain of loss and can relate to resisting change. Yes she also talks about the sadness that accompanies our unwillingness to accept the present and adapt. She encourages looking for love rather than the let down, and seeking contentment in the small.
If you are in a season of hard, loss, or change, you will love the wisdom poured out in this episode.
Our very own Alex has a new book releasing in a few weeks and we want to give you the FIRST sneak peek at some of what she covers in the pages. In this episode, Krista interviews Alex about why she wrote the book, why the process of looking for what is good is important to us, and how she structures practical next steps so listeners can begin seeking out what is good.
Whether you are overwhelmed with heartache or the state of the world, or just feel a little bored with the monotony of your daily life, this book is meant to give you tools to have new eyes to see what is already around you. God is still good. He is still here. And so we can trust that his goodness continues all around us, we just need to find it. This book is about the process of seeking out goodness.
Because Alex wanted this book to give the practical how, she uses Philippians 4:8 as her structure. "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (NIV) How do we see what is noble? Or admirable? How do we look for the lovely? Or consider what is true? How do we do this all with humility and kindness? This episode is just a taste of what Alex covers in the book. We hope you listen and let us know how you are looking for the good right now.
Fall is the perfect time of year to push the refresh button on our lives.
Hosts Krista Gilbert & Alexandra Kuykendall talk about their favorite home systems, chores, work / life balance, and tried and true recipes.