Perfection is not the aim in our parenting. Hope and encouragement are. We are real people raising real people and things don't always go as we want them to. Monica understands this and encourages us to not give up as we parent and to continually point our growing boys and young men toward character qualities to aspire toward and actively develop.
If you are in the middle of raising a boy, or know someone who is, you will want to introduce them to Monica Swanson and all things Boy Mom.
Heard on the show
Monica's list of character developing resources
Monica's podcast Boy Mom
Monica's book Boy Mom: What Your Son Needs Most from You
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear
Looking for help getting unstuck with your boys?
Open Door Sisterhood Podcast Co-Host, Krista Gilbert, is a certified home coach who can help you get unstuck as you run up against some parenting challenges. As a mom of four, including three young men, she understands the challenges parents face today. Perhaps you need a fresh perspective or approach. Set up a consultation call with her here.
Generation Z is coming of age during a global pandemic and during a time when school shootings are not uncommon. They are the first generation in the history of the world that can claim the title “digital natives.” These markers are shaping who they becoming and what questions they are asking.
Joining us today is Tanita Maddox, Assistant Regional Director for Young Life and Adolescent Culture Expert. Tanita studied Generation Z in her doctoral program and has been working with youth for over twenty years. She has an up close look into the lives of kids living in this generation and helps us understand how we can better meet them where they stand.
Whether you are a parent, a boss, a youth leader, a teacher, or a coach, this episode will be helpful as you seek to understand Generation Z and the precious teens that fill our homes, schools, churches, workplaces, and teams.
Will you fill out our quick survey so we can hear from YOU, Sister?
The top question kids are asking in this generation: Is it safe or am I safe?
What they need to hear from us: they are courageous, they are strong, they are capable
Barna Research articles on Gen Z for further reading
Question to ask often to a Gen Z teen: On a scale of 1-10 how’s your mental health?
THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR
Host of the popular mothering podcast, Don't Mom Alone, Heather MacFadyen is right in the middle of parenting four boys. As we continue in our series on Raise Boys, Change the World we of course needed a few mom experts to join. Heather is one of those moms.
In this episode, we talk about noise levels, energy levels, and schooling choices. We cover how Heather approaches her relationships with educators, other moms, and her husband and how this web of support makes her a better mom as she faces life with four sons. We cover what it means to be "deregulated", how we can help our boys and ourselves get back to a place of healthy functioning when energies or feelings are high. And we cover the importance of boys witnessing a marriage where mom and dad choose each other.
Heather gives us her take on the state of boys right now (spoiler: she says they're "numbing out") and how we as the adults around them can help them build resilience in order to prepare them for lives of service as they leave home. If you are in the middle of raising kids, boys or girls, you will glean encouragement and wisdom from Heather's perspective.
Jon Tyson, lead pastor of Church of the City in New York and popular author, joins us to talk about how to be intentional with our boys. Jon discovered that other cultures all around the world had similar rituals around raising boys in their tribes and villages. He then took those ideas and implemented them with his own son, cultivating intentionality and significance.
We cover some ground in this episode talking about toxic masculinity, male passivity, intentionality, pornography, sowing and reaping, character, and relationships. There is much wisdom here – don’t miss it! And be sure to pass this along to anyone who wants to help raise young men of courage and character.
SHOW NOTES:
Follow Jon Tyson on Instagram
Jon Tyson’s Podcast – Church of the City NYC – Podcast
The Intentional Father: a practical guide to raising sons of character and courage by Jon Tyson
The Data Are Clear: The Boys Are Not Alright – The Washington Post
The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter
Many societies had this formula of six conscious steps for raising sons:
1. Separation of the environment of childhood (put in environment with older. men to be formed)
2. Death of childhood psychology
3. Process for formation – the story of their community, religion of their community, the skills needed to function in a healthy way
4. Sent out on “the ordeal” – masculine moment where they test and see. Focused on courage and skill aquisition.
5. Welcomed back by the community of men.
6. Integration back into society
Great Quotes from the interview:
We don’t sow and reap in the same season.
Ask: What is a question that gives me access to their hearts?
Consistency vs. intensity is the key to parenting
The goal is to convert childhood authority to adult friendship
With older kids, keep asking about the 3 big questions of life:
character is destiny – who are you becoming with the freedom that you have?
vocation – what are you thinking about your future?
relationships – how are viewing sex and dating
Keep conversations running around these three topics:
What are you learning about God?
What are you learning about yourself?
What are you learning about life?
Humanize the struggle, but don’t minimize the impact.
Lent, the forty days leading up to Easter, begins tomorrow, Ash Wednesday. In this episode of The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast we talk about the tradition of practicing Lent, how it fits into the Church's liturgical year, and how it reflects the natural world's rhythm of moving from winter to spring and the spiritual rhythm of waiting for the Resurrection.
Lent may feel unfamiliar to you or it may hold undertones of legalism. You may just know it as the time of year you give up something you like because you "should", a challenge of sorts. This conversation helps us frame the intention behind Lent. The practice includes three pillars: fasting from something, adding something, and giving during Lent. When these three things are done in tandem we get the rich experience of practicing Lent in a way that builds anticipation toward Easter.
Tsh covers how to use practices with our kids, how her new book, Bitter & Sweet can be a guide, and how to be realistic as we introduce new practices into our rhythms. It's not too late to decide to make Lent different this year. You can add some intention to your days so that you are turning toward God as you consider Holy Week and all we remember and celebrate.